Wowza. I’m not even sure where to start! So I’ll just type and see where this takes me. I’ve been meaning to write, but it just hasn’t happened yet. Not sure why? I’m fitting into my normal mode of being so busy I am not super duper happy and often feel overwhelmed and push the people closest to me away a bit. Maybe it is guilt that I can’t keep up and help them out how I usually do. Maybe because that’s when they give the most, when they see me struggling, and I don’t like being in that position of being the one giving less. I need to learn this is OK. It’s that vulnerability again. That letting love in thing. Still workin on that.
But that boy. hmm. every thing I see in him, every time I see his face, every time I hear that loud voice, every time he makes me feel special, I want to know him more. I think I like this kid… and more than I’ve ever known before. Through his weaknesses, I want to know him more. Through his strengths, I can’t stop smiling. I’m becoming more comfortable showing him who I am, and each day he texts me when I wake up that helps me know he accepts me still. He smiles big. He laughs. He is ticklish (a lot.) He caring and kind and helpful and supportive and great with kids. He has a deep faith, he loves coaching and mentoring. He is an athlete and therefore has that mental toughness I find so attractive. As these years have gone by and I’ve formed who I thought I would end up with, this guy fits that and more. So we shall see… 3 months tomorrow.
this dairy-free thing is really making me feel so much better. Now I’ve gotta figure out my fat intake. I realized how little I was getting there for awhile, and now I’m just going overboard ;) peanuts, peanut butter, avocado… addicting!
Mariah Carey Christmas Pandora… year after year… can’t get over.
Art Therapy is seriously rocking my world. My passion… My dream job. It.is.happening. How did I get so lucky? I work with clients that show me each day how creativity heals. Every day is challenging in such a rewarding way. Working with real people. Helping them understand their children. Helping them parent. Helping kids cope and learn and struggle and grow. Painting, drawing, molding, ripping, cutting, glueing, building, organizing, we do it all.
facing my fears through freelance art projects. This is so hard for me! People like my creativity… what an honor! Why do I struggle so much with this? Fear of failure. Fear of disappointing them. I gotta do it though. I almost always love the end product anyways…
time to shower and see this special boy tonight. p.s. I think we kind of look alike too.. and that’s always my sign that it is meant to be…